2. Don’t pack shorts and tshirts and bikinis if you are spending a week in a caravan in Dorset, in June, I don’t care how hot the previous week was, you will need trousers, jumpers and quite possibly a winter coat, certainly one with a hood.
3. Never, EVER, buy Budget Clingfilm. Never.
4. The sound of rain pounding down on a static caravan is strangely comforting
5. That said static caravan can endure winds up to 70 miles per hour.
6. In a caravan, everyone can hear you being sick.
7. CBBC’s afternoon schedule is just a repeat of the morning’s with different continuity presenters.
8. In a strange Stockholm Syndrome way you can become bizarrely attached to those CBBC presenters, especially the gruff, Manc voice of the dog puppet, and truly believe you will come home and put Hacker Time into your sky planner so you never miss it again.
9. That Clock Patience isn’t a patch on the original.
10. That everything is comparable and once you have watched static caravans being washed away in flash floods in Wales, really all things considered you had quite good weather!
11. And finally nothing rounds a holiday off better than 5 minutes from home finding all routes are flooded and closed sending you a long and wild spray-filled voyage along the river roads. It really helps you appreciate putting the key in the lock of your own front door and that first cup of tea.